As we approach Thanksgiving, we are often reminded about being grateful for many of the things in our lives. Yet, much like other ideas, we should not limit gratitude to a set time frame like some Hallmark card. Rather, we need to recognize the science behind gratitude and how it can help us deal with our daily lives, especially in the unique times in which we live.
I refer to the science behind gratitude much like I have referred to the science behind hope. In the fantastic work done by Kathryn Goetzke, we have learned that hope is indeed a science and by practicing activities around it, we can change both our physical and mental well-being. In her book, The Biggest Little Book About Hope, Goetzke spends time identifying gratitude as one of her “Hopeful State Practices.” She speaks to the fact that adopting gratitude can lead to healthier relationships and positive internal feelings. Her discussion of gratitude as a part of the science of hope is important for us to understand as gratitude begins to change the body and mind in many ways.
We have heard about or even read books from various authors who focus on gratitude as a seminal piece of setting a healthy approach to life. One of my favorite modern authors/ coaches is Christy Whitman who addresses the need for gratitude in all of her books including her recent one, The Flow Factor. Whitman lists gratitude as one of the components we feel when we are in the “Flow State.” In her work, she emphasizes that gratitude creates a resonance within us that draws more attention to those positive things which occur as well as giving a better perspective on those negative things which occur.
Brene Brown, noted researcher, author, and organizational guru, lists gratitude as an important piece in how we approach the world. For those of you who follow her (and I recommend you do), she consistently speaks to the research she and others have conducted which demonstrate that vulnerability is such an important factor in those leaders who are considered great. Ironically, her stance on gratitude differs from my title of this piece as she sees gratitude as an important practice and not just an attitude. I defer to her on that point as she is spot on. She also points out that this practice of gratitude is what can cultivate joy within us. If you haven’t read or heard her, you definitely want to! Her latest book, Strong Ground, is fantastic and her discussion on paradox will have you thinking multiple ways at one time!
There is a lot of research on gratitude. If you take some time and visit the site positivepsychology.com, you will find a recent (September) article from Melissa Madeson, PhD entitled “The Neuroscience of Gratitude and Its Effects on the Brain.” She demonstrates that gratitude activates parts of the brain that deal with emotional wellbeing, reward, and contentment. Regular practice with gratitude can create changes within the brain which support positive mental health as well as resilience to many external pressures. Madeson, as well as many other researchers including those listed above, suggest that one of the simplest ways to maintain this practice of gratitude is to write things down in a journal which can be referred to on a regular basis.
So what does this mean for us within our schools or workplaces? First, gratitude can create a state of mind for us where we become proactive and not always reactive. There are times in many of our lives when we react to some stimulus which has happened to us and come to regret it later. That immediate reaction may also lead to moving ourselves into a negative place which can have its own less than desirable outcomes as well. This does not mean that we let things simply slide. It means that we look at things differently. An example which many of us can identify with would be when someone cuts us off on a road or highway. A reactive response is to share some non-verbal language (as well as a few things said inside your own vehicle) and anger. That anger can diminish how well we react to other issues further along on the road and even affect how we interact with others as soon as we complete our journey. A proactive response would be to consider how grateful we are that there wasn’t an accident and that we are safe.
Take that idea into your dealings with individuals then. You can be more present, especially to the needs of some of our individuals, teachers/therapists having a bad day, and respond in a manner that helps them. The times we currently live in focus too much on issues that are presented as “black or white.” Through the practice of gratitude, we can become better listeners and understand all of the shades of gray in between. That can help us be the guide those individual need at that moment.
When we adopt the practice of gratitude and, as the research demonstrates, our brains begin to adapt, we also model how to handle situations differently. It is through that modeling that we can begin to influence others as to how to handle situations differently. Gratitude at that point becomes so much more than simply saying “I am grateful for you.” It becomes a feeling which manifests itself far beyond words. One can still say “I am grateful for you,” but the words gain a palpable depth.
I am grateful for all of those who dare to research ideas like gratitude and hope. I am grateful for all of those individuals (students, colleagues, friends, acquaintances, and family) who have influenced my career and my life. I am especially grateful for all of you who tirelessly work towards helping others towards living their best lives. May the gratitude of this season spread well beyond the holidays and surround you in all that you do!